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 The
film starts with an unknown victim named Henry on a walk alone he thinks he
sees the witch but when he looks again she/he disappears. Then the victim hears
someone whispering his name from behind. When Henry looks behind him he sees the
witch who begins to start running and screaming towards him. Henry screams and
attempts to escape from the evil witch by fleeing into a mysterious forest. He
then turns and the witch is gone. He rests with relief thinking that he has lost
her/him then the witch comes out from behind a tree and creeps up behind Henry
and grabs him firmly breathing into his face, Henry cringes with the terrible
smell of the witches breath just before the witch rips his head off then leaves
him lying on the forest floor decapitated.
The next scene
takes place on a field with Al walking over it. He keeps thinking he sees
someone running past him, he freaks out and starts to walk faster. Then he hears
and sees someone sparking up with his back turned. Thinking it was his
best mate Jake, Al walks towards him,
“Jake man you made
us crap ma self, what the hell you doin out here.”
He gets no response
so he grabs him by the shoulder. Al turns and sees
the witch’s ugly face and smells the horrible stench of the witch’s breath. The
witch throws a punch at Al but he blocks it and says,
“You want to mess
with me,”
The witch nods
his/her head,
“Let’s dance.”
They both get into
sparing positions. The witch jabs then throws a quick right. Al stumbles a bit
then stands up straight and wipes his mouth,
“That’s all you got
pickle head.”
He jabs twice, then
a right, left, right and the witch goes down. Al raises his hands in victory,
“Yeah mo fo, you don’t mess with the master, and by the way you seriously need
some tic tacs.”
The witch takes out
his/her pipe and takes a hit, then dirtily kicks Al in the balls; he painfully
falls to the ground holding his crotch. The witch gets himself/herself up and
starts to strangle Al,
“You don’t know who
you’re dealing with, piece of mortal crap.”
Al struggles,
“You know,” cough,
cough,
“If the muffin man
was here,” cough, cough, splutter,
“He’d kick your
ass,” cough, splutter.
The witch grasped
his neck harder. Al starts flopping like a wet fish then there’s a crunch and Al
stops struggling. The witch lets go of him and stands up,
“Well I’ve got some
news for you sunshine, I am the muffin man.”
He/she disappears
into the mist on his/her broomstick.
The third scene
takes place on
a park bench; it’s very misty and quite dark. Jonny is sitting peacefully
munching on his sandwiches which he’s enjoying very much. Suddenly someone taps
him on the shoulder. Jonny turns round but no ones there.
“What the, who’s
there.”
He waits for a reply
but there’s only silence. He shrugs his shoulders and turns round to continue
munching on his sandwich. But when he does the sandwitch is standing rite in
front of him. Jonny drops his sandwich in fright.
“Holy kenobi man,
dude, your breath reeks, Jesus, and you made us drop my precious sandwich,
stupid smack head, push off, creep.”
Jonny picks up his
sandwitch, when he looks back up the sandwitch brings out his blade. Jonny drops
his sandwitch again,
“Oh crap.”
Just before the
witch stabs Jonny, another knife sticks through Jonny’s chest,
“Huh, what the.”
The witch looks up
and standing behind Jonny is another killer with burgers on his shoulders.
“Hey man, what the
hell man, he was mine, who are you anyways.”
“I’m the burgerking
and you were too slow.”
“You asshole.”
In anger the
sandwitch stabs the burgerking,
“Ouch man that
hurts, why did you stab me dude, we're the same man, we both do the same thing,
we’re basically related.”
“Shit, a dunno, sos
man I lost my temper, I couldn’t help myself, you know what it’s like.”
“It hurts like f#ck,
what am I gonna do now.”
“I know, yeah, I
know just the thing for it.”
The sandwitch takes
his bong out from his coat,
“Now that’s what I’m
talking about, I like your style of thinking, spark that up dude.”
The scene ends with
the sound of a bong hit.
Scene four takes
place in a room, Theo is sitting on his computer chilling with a blunt
listening to some awesome Snoop Dogg. Then Pacman walks into the room. “Dude
you’ll never guess what’s happened,” Theo looks at pacman, looking very blitzed.
“Mad izm,”
“Mad izm?”
They both look at
each other and nod their heads, “Mad izm.” Theo puts KRS-Ones Mad Izm on because
it’s insane. “
“Anyways, nah Al’s
dead and so is Jake.”
“What the hell man,
I knew about Al but what happened to Jake.”
Pacman goes and sits
on the window sill next to Theo,
“Well, the
electricity stopped working in his house so he couldn’t play on his ps3 and you
know how much he loves his ps3 and this really stressed him out so he went to
the fridge to get a yoghurt to calm his passion for fashion, and when he opened
the door there was none left. So he completely lost it, ripped out his hair, ran
out side, down the street screaming his head off he even pushed someone
in front of a bus, she got splattered. Anyways it must have got too much for
him so his head blew up.”
“Theo looked very
confused,”
“His head blew up,”
“Yep, blew to
smithereens,”
“Just like that,”
“Just like that,”
“Just like that.”
“That’s screwed up
stuff dude,”
”Two rite man, I need to pack a zoot, hey man give us a couple off that.”
Theo passes Pacman
the blunt,
“Yeah dude pack that
biff.”
Pacman searches his
pockets,
“Oh crap man, I’ve
left my izm down stairs, Theo gan get it,”
“No way man, I’m too
lazy you get it.”
“Fine then u fat
lazy bastard.”
Pacman gives back
the blunt and walks out of the room grumberling to himself. Theo carries on the
computer and smoking his blunt. Suddenly he hears a scream,
“What the hell man,”
He gets out of his
chair and walks out of the room.
“What up dude,”
He shouts down the
stairs, there’s no reply. Then begins to walk down the stairs.
“God dam it,
probably seen a daddy longlegs or summit, pussy.” Just as he reaches the bottom
of the stairs he notices Packman’s shoe covered in blood and lying next to it a
huge, smelly poo.
“Now that’s got to
be Packman.”
He runs up stairs
and shuts his bedroom door behind him. He sits in the corner of his room
rocking like a psycho.
“Oh sh#t, oh sh#t,
what the f#ck, what the f#ck, oh f#ck it am having a bong, I need one.”
He gets up and goes
too pick up his bong from the windowsill, then suddenly drops down,
“F#ck,”
He pops his head up
and peers out of the window. The witch is jumping around on his trampoline.
“What the hell does
he think he’s doing on my trampoline, what a nerve.”
The next thing Theo sprints out of his house and rugby tackles the witch off his
trampoline then starts laying in to him/her on the floor.
“You prick, you come
into my house, you kill Pacman, you shit on my floor and you jump on my
trampoline, am gonna mess you up.”
Then the witch full
on nuts Theo in the face and he falls off, the witch then kicks him in the face
till Theo’s unconscious.
“Yo motherfucker,
you don’t fucking interrupt me when I’m on a trampoline, biatch.”
The witch then
returns back to jumping on the trampoline. After regaining consciousness Theo runs
back into the house and barricades himself in his bedroom.
“Holy banoly, that’s
some crazy bitch”
He looks out the
window and the witch is gone.
“Were did he /
she go? I don’t have a clue what sex it is, perhaps it’s a hermaphrodite.”
Suddenly there are
bangs at the door and within a couple seconds the witch comes bashing through
the door.
“Sh#t, sh#t, sh#t,”
The witch brings out
a large blade and comes towards Theo. Theo looks up at the witch's face and cringes.
“Oh bollocks, dude
you’re breath stinks and sh#t man you’re a rite ugly bastard too.”
The witch takes a
swing at Theo with the knife but he roles out the way. As he does this he
notices an empty baggy fall out of the witch’s pocket.
“Dude, no wonder
you’re pissed off, if I ran out of weed I’d be too.”
“Yeah I know it
sucks, I need some more smoke like, anyways where was I, oh yeah,”
“Wait dude listen I
got lots of weed, lots of munch and some awesome music, you like Ol’ Dirty
Bastard.”
“Fo sizzle I do,
he’s awesome.”
“You know what I
think you need to chill man.”
The witch pauses and
thinks for a second.
Next scene both the
witch and Theo are sitting listening to some ODB, smoking and munching.
“Hey man, seen as
you’re an evil witch and all. You reckon you could take care of a few pricks
that piss me off.”
“Sure dude, who ever
you want.”
“Cheers dude, I’ll
get back to ya.
“Yeah sure, no
problemo,”
“Sweet, you’re a
true friend, I mean besides killing my other mates and all like Pacman and
that.”
“Pacman? I didn’t
kill him,”
“You didn’t, but I
saw his shoe covered in blood and heard him scream.”
“No dude that was my
blood, you see I was gonna kill him, but then this big ass creepy looking spider
came in, like the size of a cow, Pacman screamed, had a huge smelly dump on the
floor, took his shoe off and tried to throw it at the spider, completely missed
and hit me in the face and popped my nose. Then he just took off, sprinted away
some where.”
“Oh rite, cool, hey
dude can I ask why your breath reeks so much of really bad, gone off sand,”
“What you on about”
Theo takes a hand
full of sand.
“You know, sand”
“Yo man that’s some
tasty sh#t rite there I love sandwiches.”
“What you on about,
this aint no sandwich.”
“Shit man, I always
thought that was a sand, wich,”
“No man, I know what
you’re thinking, you see, you’re a witch and this is sand, but when u put them
both together, you don't get a sandwich, you just got muddled up. You old fool, no
wonder you’re the sandwitch, get it.”
They both giggle; do
a corny grin at the camera and the movie ends.
Starring
Sandwitch -
Pacman
Theo - Dude
Pacman –
Muffin Man
Al – Master
Aloni
Henry – Gay
Boy
Burgerking
– Queen
Jake -
Funkmaster
Jonny –
King Jonny
Music
Gravediggaz
– Diary of a Madman
Wu Tang
Clan – Da Mystery of Chessboxin’
Cypress
Hill – I Wonna Get High
Dr. Dre ft
Devin the Dude & Snoop Dogg – F#ck You
Channel
Live ft KRS-One – Mad Izm
Ol’ Dirty
Bastard – Brooklyn Zoo
D12 – Sh#t
On You
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